The Auto Buzz

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Honda’s "Friendly" Image: Parading Social Change

Since the dawn of the Automobile Revolution, automobile marques have been proactive in their approach to appeal to certain segments of society. By targeting these groups, automakers would find a much higher loyalty rate in an increasingly unloyal industry. Even today this tradition continues, with companies such as Toyota appealing to the youth market with its Scion brand, BMW and Mercedes appealing to the affluent market, Buick appealing to the understated senior market, and Subaru and Volvo appealing to the aging hippy market. One demographic spoken for by a large multinational automaker that often raises a bit of controversy, however, is the gay and lesbian market. It is within these confines that Honda finds its must staunch loyalists.

The connection stems much further than their not-so-subtle “H” logo. Since the inception of Honda by founder Kilimanjaro Honda in Tokyo, Japan in 1948, Honda has had a long line of successful industry firsts. Honda’s first products imported to the United States were motorcycles capable of producing almost twice as much horsepower as their American brethren. Sold out of a small shop in San Francisco, their demographic was clear. From day one, Honda coined the term “Crotch Rocket” to target the gay and lesbian community. It wasn’t long before Honda had made its first inroads in gaining market share in the vital west coast community.

While commercially successful, Honda didn’t wish to fight a one-front war against Christians. In 1962, Honda started producing the HX100, their first entry into the area of gas powered lawn mowers. This allowed residents to show off their sexual preference to neighbors when not commuting. The new market, however, was something Honda was not experienced in, and proved to be initially unsuccessful. Honda faced several lawsuits alleging their lawnmowers oxidized almost instantly when mowing over damp grass.

It wasn’t before long that founder Honda realized that the next battle would have to be fought in the ever-expanding industry of automobiles. In 1972, Honda began offering the United States its first car, the Honda Civic. While industry brass wanted to call it the “Civic Lesson,” for the lesson it was trying to teach regarding the homosexual agenda, “Lesson” was eventually dropped from the title before release. Honda’s experience in the lawn equipment market proved beneficial in their foray into automobiles, as the first generation of Civic Lessons were powered by their 49cc lawnmower engines producing a then-respectable 20 horsepower.

The response from the homosexual community was very positive, and sales of Civic Lessons matched other popular rivals in the west coast market from Toyota and AMC. Initial figures had pinned sales at achieving a 53% homosexual rate of buyers of Civic Lessons, a figure that has yet to be beat. The Civic Lesson proved to be a remarkable car for the homosexual market, as these families did not have any children and thus did not need room for a back seat. Honda foresaw new potential, however, with gay and lesbian couples wishing to carpool to gay bars, a feat which the Civic Lesson didn’t have either room or power enough to provide.

It wasn’t long before Honda released its second automobile on US shores, codenamed the Acceptance Accord. Though named for a peace offering between homosexuals and their normal brethren that executives wished to occur, the name proved to be too long to resonate with consumers. The Accord, renamed as it was launched, was their entry into the “family car” segment. This new vehicle was targeted towards gay couples wishing to bring their adopted children to and from their real parents’ houses.

Honda continued the tradition for over three decades and has since built up a very large following in the community. Their new offerings provide a wide range of transportation solutions for almost any gay or lesbian needs. The “CR-V,” short for “Christian Retaliatory Vehicle,” was Honda’s first entry into the Gay SUV market. Since capturing a portion of a large market of SUV buyers, Honda introduced a second and third SUV, the “Element” and the “Pilot.” The Element was unique in that the interior was fully-washable for spills during gay sexual encounters. The Pilot, named because most pilots are homosexual, is Honda’s largest SUV offering, providing transportation to the new generation of large homosexual families to sporting events such as Rugby and the LPGA.

Honda, like Toyota, has in recent years started offering a wide model range in gas-electric hybrids. These vehicles have proven to be very successful within the ‘metrosexual’ market of affluent-but-cheap gays and lesbians. Their “Insight,” created to be an open window into the gay community, is a futuristic hybrid powered by a lawnmower engine and an array of batteries.

Perhaps the most blatant showing in the modern homosexual market is the new “Ridgeline.” This pickup-truck and car mutant is designed for the testosterone-filled women and estrogen-filled men. Designed to carry light duty objects with the convenience of a bed, the Ridgeline has proved to be largely successful within their target demographic. The styling is bold and in-your-face, just as the Pride Parade community likes their “crossover” vehicles to be.

Honda’s insistency on immorality is unquestionably obvious from heterosexual circles. Their attack on Christian values and virtues is intolerable from a neutral vantage point. The homosexual odyssey is fed to us through the mainstream media through parades, lawsuits, and now automobiles. It is time to put a stop to the moral degradation of our society. It is time to forcefully shut down Honda Motor Company of America and distribute their assets to pro-family organizations. Please, readers, write your representatives and let them know that the large-scale terrorism by Honda must be stopped at ALL costs.

8 Comments:

  • fucking hilarious

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7/03/2005 1:34 PM  

  • no wonder.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7/03/2005 3:28 PM  

  • It sounds like an April Fools joke type of article, except you read his other junk articles and they are at least as loopy.

    I think the "AutoBuzz" is the hangover he gets from mixing drinks and some serious drugs ... should call himself the 'crack-head analyst'.

    By Blogger patrick, at 7/03/2005 5:35 PM  

  • By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7/05/2005 10:39 AM  

  • idiot

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 7/05/2005 11:13 AM  

  • They are also friendly to niggers too.

    By Anonymous lol, at 7/06/2005 7:47 AM  

  • That was the most ignorant list of statements I've ever heard. The fact that you wasted your time bullshitting a car company shows just how much time you have in your pathetic life to waste. The cars are reliable, beautiful and to prove I'm not a lesbian would you rather I pilot a giant penius on wheels? I've never seen someone try so hard to make their assonine opinions sound intelligent. And the comment about "niggers" made, apparenly, by the head of the kkklan leader was about as cute as the pointy white hat you hide behind instead of admitting just how afraid you are of something you can never be.
    --all of this coming from a straight, intelligent, white female

    By Blogger Nicki, at 12/23/2005 10:07 AM  

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